I didn't get a chance to tell you all about myself, so.. here ya go.
As hard as I may try, I cannot be defined. I am not a regular girl, or something you see everyday. To put it as plain as possible – I am just different. My mind is always running; it just never stops. I worry and obsess over everything, and I cannot help it. I wish I could, but I can’t. I dislike a lot of people, only because I think that human beings, in general, are the most vile, disgusting things in this world. When I see people that take advantage of certain things, or do not appreciate what they have, it bothers me. Everyone is fake, and that is truly sad. I always keep my heart open, but at the same time it is locked up tight. I am not stupid; I am aware that there are people out there that want to use you, abuse you, twist you, re-mold you, or complicate you. However, with a firm grasp on my heart, I chose to keep to myself for the fear of breaking. I have had walls of shit just fall on me, so I know what type of evil is out there. Now, it is just a matter of keeping a good head on my shoulders and standing strong to “me.” I have walked through fire, but I have not been burned. I am far from innocent, but I have maintained my wings and my halo. My heart has been ripped at the seam, and I am searching for the needle and thread. My vision is finally clear, but the color has been drained. I tend to have a pessimistic outlook, but I look at it more as being real. I can be brutally honest at times. People would rather lie to themselves for happiness than seek the truth. Me, I’d rather have the truth any day. Throughout the years, I have seen the beauty.. I appreciate every single heartache and failure. I understand that I need to fall so I can pick myself back up; I need to bleed so the wounds can heal. Nothing is ever as it seems, and everything does happen for a reason. Don’t ever take advantage of anything good in your life- cherish it all. It could be gone in a heartbeat. If something makes you happy, hold onto it and never let it go without a fight. Almost everything good in my life has been taken away from me and it was my own fault. I have let it happen, but this is the last time you will hear this escape from my thoughts. I refuse to settle for anything but the best. I will find happiness one day, and when I do, it will be the greatest day ever. And this time, I will hold onto it and keep it all to myself; absolutely no sharing. I am still learning in this gigantic world, but I am proud to say I am on the right track. Of course I am not fully mature, but I am starting to not like living through the eyes of a child. I am growing up, and I must admit, it is a little scary. I will approach it with open arms and an open mind, and stand tall. That is how I have always been, and always will be.
I believe everyone deserves a chance.
